Teach your kids to talk not to text

Welcome welcome fellow bloggers! Let's talk a little bit about kids and technology, shall we? Growing up, I had access to technology, but nowhere close to the access kids have now in 2024. How many parents do you know that have bought an iPad or other type of tablet for their child? Crazy right! In this post, we will delve a little deeper into kids and their access to technology. Are we destined to raise iPad kids who struggle with impulse control, keeping focus, and lack valuable social skills, or can we put the screens down and raise pleasant, well-rounded human beings?

As a mom to a two year old and one year old, I have seen this tablet case in at least eight of my mom friends' diaper bags. Most of my friends and I had children in the last four years, meaning that the oldest kid in our friend group just turned four years old. None of these children are fully developed, yet at least eight of them have an iPad of their own. When we go out to dinner, my husband and I have the toy bag ready to go. We bring our busy book, crayons and color sheets, and all the little fidget toys you could want as children. Our bags are filled to the brim with ways to entertain our two children so we can have dinner outside of the house. The saddest thing in the world is to watch my two year old try to share her crayons with her friend beside her and for them not to even notice she's talking to them because they are glued to a screen. When the meal comes the iPad still stays on and in front of the children because if they are taken away, the child throws a tantrum. 

Every time we go to dinner I wonder what we are teaching our children. As a strategic communicator, it is very important to me that my child can talk to me. Yes, she is only two, but I have been planting seeds since she was born to ensure that she would be able to communicate. I never used a baby voice with her, I would narrate what I was doing so that she could put words to objects and actions, and I read to her every night. At two years old, my daughter and I can have a full conversation. Now, she is not putting complex sentences together, but you can understand what she is saying and she is using the correct words for things. I fully believe that she would not be at this level if I had put an iPad in her face.

PBS covered the story of a doctor who put this to the test. Catherine Birken, a pediatrician and scientist at the Hospital for Sick Children in Toronto, from 2011 to 2015, asked the parents of children 6 to 24 months old to estimate how much time they spent each day with hand-held screens, like smartphones, tablets and electronic games. Meanwhile, Birken and her team assessed each child with the Infant Toddler Checklist — a screening tool that looks for signs of delayed communication development. In total, Birken’s team recruited and examined nearly 900 toddlers for the study. By the time they reached their 18-month checkups, 20 percent of the children used mobile devices for 28 minutes on average each day. They found children who spent more time with hand-held screens were more likely to exhibit signs of a delay in expressive speech.

Now, I can see times when the use of technology is beneficial for children. For example, my grandmother does not live close to me, but she loves to see her great-granddaughters whenever she can. We will Facetime with her once or twice a week so she can see my kids' faces and they can see hers. I do not see an issue with this form of screen time because my children are still benefiting from having a conversation with someone. They are still using their communication skills. 

The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recommends the following as far as screen time.

• Until 18 months of age limit screen use to video chatting along with an adult (for example, with a parent who is out of town).
• Between 18 and 24 months screen time should be limited to watching educational programming with a caregiver.
• For children 2-5, limit non-educational screen time to about 1 hour per weekday and 3 hours on the weekend days.
• For ages 6 and older, encourage healthy habits and limit activities that include screens.
• Turn off all screens during family meals and outings.
• Learn about and use parental controls.
• Avoid using screens as pacifiers, babysitters, or to stop tantrums.
• Turn off screens and remove them from bedrooms 30-60 minutes before bedtime.

I personally do not feel like this is unrealistic. As parents, it is our job to equip our children with all the tools they need to be successful. Routine and structure play a part in that. While are children are young and their brains are still developing, we need to do our part to help. Talking to them, letting them come up with games or stories by using their imagination, and even letting them just play and socialize with other kids will do wonders for their vocabulary and social skills. 

The Mayo Clinic says that when children socialize with family and friends, they learn a wide variety of important life skills, including the ability to:

• Regulate emotions and behaviors.
• Understand how their behavior affects others around them.
• Feel connected to others.
• Get along with others.
• Feel confident about their abilities.
• Value the ideas and differences of other people around them.
• Take turns.
• Take responsibility for their actions.

So, parents, I implore you to take steps today to help your child develop into a well-rounded human. Interact with your children, let them be involved in social groups, and wait as long as you can to introduce screen time to them. As adults, we can all see how addictive and damaging it can be.